MARRIAGE (Zawaj = Nikaah)
Its provision for a man:
It is recommended for the one
who can afford its expenses and longs for it.
But,
it is disliked for the one who does not long for it.
●It
was narrated from Ibn Masᶦud that the Prophet said, “O young men, whoever among you can afford to get married, let
him do so, for it restrains eyes (from
casting evil glances at other women),
and saves private parts from committing illegal sexual relation. But he who
cannot afford it should fast, as fasting is a means of controlling the sexual
desire.” [AL-Bukhari and Muslim].
Its
provision for a woman: It is absolutely recommended, for it is a support and protection
for her.
Prohibitions
for a man in marriage:
There
are three causes of prohibition in marriage: relationship, fostership, and
affinity.
Absolute prohibition:
It is irreversible, no matter
how much things change.
①It
is prohibited for a man to marry his mother, grandmother, daughter,
granddaughter, his niece, and their offspring.
Also, he is prohibited to marry
his aunt, his father’s aunt, and mother’s aunt.
②It
is prohibited for a man to marry the woman who has breast-fed him while he was
an infant.
Also, it is prohibited for him to marry her daughter, whether the
daughter has breastfed with him or she is the another one who is older or
younger than her. This is because he has become a member of this family. This
prohibition is NOT applied to his brothers and sisters, and her brothers and
sisters. (For example: his brother can marry her sister).
③It
is prohibited for a man to marry:
□The
mother of his wife.
□His
step-daughter (the daughter of his wife or the daughter of his wife’s son) if
he has consummated the marriage with the mother.
□His
step mother as soon as his father concludes the contract of his marriage to her
(even if his father has not consummated with her).
□His
son’s wife.
□His
grandson’s wife.
A rule:
Concluding
a contract of marriage to a daughter prohibits the marriage to her mother, but
consummating the marriage with a mother prohibits the marriage to her daughter,
i.e., it is prohibited for you to marry your mother-in-law as soon as you
conclude the contract of your marriage to her daughter, even if you have
divorced her daughter afterwards.
Temporary prohibition:
It
is prohibited to marry:
□Two
sisters simultaneously.
□A woman and her
paternal aunt simultaneously.
□A
woman and her maternal aunt simultaneously.
¨It is a temporary prohibition
that ceases if the wife is dead or divorced.
God
says ﴾And do not
marry those [women] whom your fathers married, except what has already occurred.
Indeed, it was an immorality and hateful [to
Allah] and was evil as a way﴿Chapter of Women. Verse
NO 22
And
He says ﴾Prohibited to
you [for marriage] are your mothers, your daughters, your sisters, your
father’s sisters, your mother’s sisters, your brother’s daughters, your
sister’s daughters, your [milk] mothers who nursed you, your sisters through nursing, your
wives’ mothers, and your step-daughters under your guardianship [born] of your wives with whom you have
consummated. But if you have not consummated
with them, there is no sin upon you. And [also
prohibited are] the wives of your sons
who are from your [own] loins, and that you take [in marriage]
two sisters simultaneously, except for what has already occurred. Indeed, Allah
is ever Forgiving and Merciful﴿
Chapter of Women. Verse NO 23
●It was narrated from Abi-Hurairah that
the Messenger of Allah said, “One cannot combine a woman and her paternal aunt, or a woman and her maternal
aunt in marriage.” [AL-Bukhari].
●Ibn ᶦAbbas reported: It was said to the
Prophet (P.P.B.U.H), “Won’t you marry the daughter of Hamzah?” He said, “She is my foster niece (brother’s daughter).”
[AL-Bukhari].
¨Thuwaibah, the slave girl of Abi Lahab, has breast-fed
the Prophet and his paternal uncle Hamzah.
---------------------------------------------------
Things to be considered in choosing a husband or a wife:
❶A girl’s family must ask carefully about
the suitor, his manners, and his transactions. The one who is asked about a
suitor must know that it is a trust and he will be asked about his witness
before God.
●Fatimah bint Qais said: I came to the
Prophet and said to him: “Muᶦawiyah and Abu-Jahm sent me a proposal
of marriage.” The Messenger of Allah (P.P.B.U.H) said, “As for Abu Jahm, he does not put down
his stick from his shoulder (i.e. he travels a lot, or he is very hard on women), and as
for Muᶦawiyah, he is a poor man with no
property. Marry Usamah ibn Zayd.” I objected
to him, but he again said, “Marry
Usamah.” So, I married him, and Allah put good in
it. [Muslim].
❷The girl must be righteous, from a good
family environment. As she cannot do without her family. If they are vicious,
they will spoil her.
●The Messenger of Allah said, “Let me inform you about the best a man
hoards; it is a righteous woman who pleases him when he looks at her, obeys him
when he gives her a command, and guards his interests when he is away from
her.” [Abu-Daoud].
●It was narrated from Abi-Hurairah (May
Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet said, “When someone, whose religion and
character you are pleased with, comes to you, then marry (your daughter or female relative under
your care) to him, for
if you do not do that, there will be turmoil (Fitnah) in the land and widespread corruption.” [AL-Tirmidhi].
●It was narrated from Abi-Hurairah (May
Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (P.P.B.U.H) said, “A woman is married for four things,
i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty, and her religion. So you
should marry the religious woman (otherwise) your
hand will be besmeared with dust (you will be a loser).” [AL-Bukhari and Muslim].
❸It is prohibited for a Muslim to send a
proposal of marriage to an engaged woman.
●It was narrated from Abi-Hurairah that
Allah’s Apostle said, “A
man should not propose to a woman to whom his brother has already proposed.” [Muslim].
❹A suitor should look at the woman that
he wants to marry. Islam likes clarity, so he should look at her face and
hands, and hear her voice, as she may be a dumb or a lisper.
●Abu-Hurairah reported: I was in the
company of Allah’s Messenger (May peace be upon him) when there came a man and
informed him that he had proposed marriage to a woman of the Supporters (AL-Ansaar).
Thereupon, Allah’s Messenger said: “Have you seen her?” He said, “No.” He said: “Go and look at her.” [Muslim].
Also, she should look at her suitor.
❺It is a Sunnah to marry a virgin.
●Jaber ibn Abd Allah reported: My father
died and left seven or nine girls and I married a matron. Allah’s Apostle said
to me, “O Jabir! Have
you married?” I said. “Yes.” He said, “A virgin or a matron (previously married)?” I
replied, “A matron.” He said, “Why not a virgin, so that you might play with her and she with
you, and you might amuse her and she amuse you.” I said, “Abdullah (my father) died and
left girls, and I dislike marrying a girl like them, so I married a lady
(matron) so that she may look after them.” On that he said, “May Allah bless you.” or “That is good.” [AL-Bukhari].
❻A
Muslim should marry a Muslim woman.
God says ﴾And do not marry polytheistic women until they believe. And
a believing slave woman is better than a polytheist, even though she might
please you. And do not marry polytheistic men
[to your women] until they believe. And a believing slave is better than a
polytheist, even though he might please you. Those invite [you] to the Fire, but Allah invites to
Paradise and to forgiveness, by His permission. And He makes clear His verses
to the people that perhaps they may remember﴿Chapter of the Heifer. Verse NO 221
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ENGAGEMENT
It
is a promise of marriage, later, from the fiancé to the guardian of the
fiancée, so that the suitor and the bride have been contented with each other
and it has been agreed on everything.
Provision
of engagement in Islam:
It does not make the lawful thing unlawful, or the unlawful
thing lawful.
But, it is a period of introduction to marriage and an
acquaintance between the two partiesin presence of an unmaritable relation (Mahram) before concluding the marriage contract.
So, the fiancé is not allowed to see more than the face and
hands of his fiancée, and not allowed to be alone with her.
Marriage
pillars:
a husband, a wife, a wife’s guardian, two witnesses, and a text.
Conditions
of the guardian and the two witnesses:
They
must be Muslims, adult, rational, just, and male.
The witnesses must know the language of the two parties of the marriage
contract, and must be not be blind or deaf.
−Marriage
contract is not valid if the witnesses are two women, or a man and two women.
Also, a woman cannot be a guardian of another woman in marriage contract.
−A
guardian and witnesses must be men as a man knows his own kind well and can
deal with the suitor. There must be a particular attention paid to marriage and
any dispute between the young spouses.
God says ﴾And if you fear dissension between the two, send an
arbitrator from his people and an arbitrator from her people. If they both
desire reconciliation, Allah will cause it between them. Indeed, Allah is ever
Knowing and Acquainted [with all things]﴿ Chapter of Women.
Verse NO 35
Guardians
of a woman in marriage:
Her
father, if not present, then her grandfather (the father of her father), then
her brother, then her paternal uncle in the order.
Conditions
of a husband:
□He
must be a Muslim.
□Not
unmaritable relation (not Mahram).
□Not
forced to marry his wife.
□He must be
known by name.
□He must know if his wife a virgin or a
matron.
Conditions of a wife:
□She must be known by name (her guardian must not say: “I have
married you to one of my daughters”).
□Not
married at the same time to another man.
□Not
in the waiting period.
□Not forced
to get married.
Conditions
of the text:
□It
must be expresses verbis, such as “I have married you to…..”
□It
must be not conditioned upon a specific event. For example: Do not say, “I
would marry my daughter to you if you harvested cotton.”
¨A woman can condition that her
husband does not marry another woman during their marriage.
●AL-Miswar
ibn Makhramah reported: I heard Allah’s Apostle who was on the pulpit saying, “Banu Hisham ibn AL-Mughirah have requested me to allow them to
marry their daughter to ᶦAli ibn Abi Talib, but I do not give permission, and
will not give permission unless ᶦAli ibn Abi Talib divorces my daughter in
order to marry their daughter, because Fatimah is a part of my body, and what
displeases her displeases me, and what hurts her hurts me.” [AL-Bukhari].
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FOSTERSHIP
If a woman breast-fed an infant, it becomes her son/or daughter
on two conditions:
a) Its age is less than two years.
b) She breast-feeds it five separate times.
●It was narrated from ᶦAishah (May Allah be pleased with her)
that the Prophet (P.P.B.U.H) said, “Breastfeeding
is because of hunger (during infancy).” [AL-Bukhari].
−As a result of fostership, her husband will be a father of this
infant, whether it is a male or a female.
==================================================
THE
ISSUE OF POLYGAMY
Islam
has allowed polygamy in certain situations as:
Sterility
of a woman, during wars in which thousands of men die and women increase in
number, also to face the weakness of will in some men.
−
In the previous situations, polygamy is more honorable, for both of men and
women, than taking mistresses which is approved in some societies.
*Islam did not innovate polygamy:
[1]
Abraham (peace be upon him) married four women.
[2]
Daoud (peace be upon him) married about one hundred of women, and his son
Sulaiman had one thousand of slave-girls and free women.
[3]
The Torah allowed having a countless number of women.
●It
was narrated from Abi-Hurairah that the Prophet said, “Sulaiman ibn Daoud (Solomon
‘the son of David’) said,
‘Tonight I will sleep (have an intercourse) with seventy women; all of them will deliver a male child who
will fight in the way of Allah.’ It was said to him: ‘Say: If Allah wills.’ But
he did not say.
He had sexual relations with them but none of them delivered
any child, except one who delivered a half person. If Sulaiman had said: ‘If
Allah wills’, his wives would have delivered the children who would all have
grown up into horsemen and fought in the way of Allah.”
[The
Two Scholars].
God says ﴾And if you fear that you will not deal justly with the
orphan girls, then marry those that please you of [other] women, two or three or
four. But if you fear that you will not be just, then [marry only]
one or those your right hand possesses. That is more suitable that you may not
incline [to injustice]﴿ Chapter of Women. Verse NO 3
●Abu-Qais ibn AL-Harith reported: I
embraced Islam while I had eight wives. So, I mentioned it to the Prophet and
he said: “Select four of
them.” [Abu-Daoud].
● And in the narration of AL-Tirmidhi that
a man from Thaqif had ten wives when he became a Muslim. Then the Prophet said
to him, “Take four and
separate from the rest.”
This polygamy is allowed on two conditions:
a) To be a just in the care of your wives and your children.
b) To own the necessary resources required to spend on these
houses, i.e., do not let your wives and children barefooted, naked, and begging
of others, especially in our modern life, in which an individual needs are
several, and it is rare to find the one who has the mental and the financial
skill to succeed in that.
God says ﴾And you will never be able to be equal [in feeling]
between wives, even if you should strive [to
do so]. So, do not incline
completely [toward one] and leave [another] hanging.
And if you amend [your affairs] and fear Allah- then indeed, Allah is
ever Forgiving and Merciful﴿
Chapter of Women. Verse NO
129
●It was narrated from Abi-Hurairah (May
Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (P.P.B.U.H) said, “When a man has two wives and he is not
just between them, he will come on the Day of Judgment with one side drooping.” [AL-Tirmidhi].
●It was narrated from Abd- Allah ibn ᶦAmr that
the Messenger of Allah said, “It is a sufficient sin for a man that he neglects those whom he
maintains.” [Abu-Daoud].
●And the Prophet (P.P.B.U.H) said in his
talk to Saᶦd ibn Abi Waqqas, “To leave your heirs rich is better than to leave them poor
begging of others.” [AL-Bukhari].
=================================================
DIVORCE
●It
was narrated from Muharib that the Prophet said, “Allah did not make
anything lawful more hated to Him than divorce.” [Abu-Daoud].
●It
was narrated from Abd-
Allah ibn ᶦUmar that the Messenger of Allah said, “Of all the lawful acts, the most hated to Allah is divorce.”
[Abu-Daoud and Ibn Majah].
●It
was narrated from Jabir (May
Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet said, “Iblis places his throne upon water; he then sends detachments (for creating dissension);
the nearer to him in rank are those who are most notorious in creating
dissension. One of them comes and says, ‘I did so and so.’ And he says, ‘You
have done nothing.’ Then one among them comes and says, ‘I did not spare so and
so until I sowed the seeds of discord between a husband and a wife.’ Iblis goes
near him and says, ‘You have done well.’”
[Muslim].
Types
of divorce
¨If a man divorced his wife once,
he would be allowed to return to her during the waiting period. The same thing
would occur in the second time. If the waiting period ended and he did not
return to her, he would not be allowed to return to her except after new contract
and dower. In this case, divorce would be minor irrevocable.
¨If the wife was divorced for the
third time, divorce would be major irrevocable and she would not be allowed to return to her husband except after a stable
marriage to another man (i.e. marriage not conditioned upon divorce).
God says ﴾Divorce is twice. Then, either keep [her] in an acceptable manner
or release [her] with good treatment﴿
Chapter of the Heifer. And says ﴾And if he has divorced her [for the third
time], then she is not lawful
to him afterward until [after] she marries a husband other than him﴿Chapter
of the Heifer.
●ᶦAishah reported: A man divorced his wife
thrice, then she married another man who divorced her before having sexual
intercourse with her. The Prophet was asked if she could legally marry the
first husband (or not). The Prophet replied, “No, she cannot marry the first husband unless the second
husband tastes her sweetness (consummates marriage with her), just as the first husband has done.” [The Two Scholars].
Note that:
If divorce occurs before consummating marriage with the wife,
she gives the husband half of the prompt dower and takes only half of the
deferred dower.
As for presents, scholars have different opinions about them.
God says ﴾And if you divorce them before you have touched them and you
have already specified for them an obligation, then [give] half of what you
specified- unless they forego the right or the one in whose hand is the
marriage contract foregoes it. And to forego it is nearer to righteousness. And
do not forget graciousness between you. Indeed Allah, of whatever you do, is
seeing﴿ Chapter
of the Heifer. Verse NO 237
******************************
THE
WAITING PERIOD
A
woman in the waiting period is either a widow or not a widow.
A
widow is either:
a) A pregnant, and in this case her waiting
period ends when she gives birth, even if the delivery occurs after days of her
husband’s death.
●Umm
Salamah reported: Subayᶦa AL-Aslamiya gave birth half a month after the death
of her husband, and two men asked to marry her. She went to the Messenger of
Allah and he said, “You are free to marry,
so marry whomever you wish.” [AL-Bukhari].
b) Not pregnant, and in this case her waiting period is four Islamic
months and ten nights (130 days).
She
should commit to mourning throughout the waiting period, and refrain from
adornment and applying perfume. She should stay at home and never goes out,
except for a need.
●The
Prophet (P.P.B.U.H) said, “A woman whose husband has died must not wear any jewellery. She must not apply Kohl
(cosmetic eye powder to darken
the eyelids) and Henna (camphire).” [Abu-Daoud and AL-Nasaᶦi].
God
says ﴾And those who
are taken in death among you and leave wives behind- they, [the wives, shall] wait four
months and ten [days]. And when they have fulfilled their term, then there is no
blame upon you for what they do with themselves in an acceptable manner. And
Allah is [fully] Acquainted with what you do﴿
Chapter of the Heifer. Verse NO
234
●It
was narrated from Umm Habibah, the wife of the Prophet, that the Prophet
(P.P.B.U.H) said, “It is not permissible
for a woman who believes in Allah and the Last Day to mourn for anyone who dies
for more than three days, except for a husband; she should mourn for him for
four months and ten (days).” [The Two Scholars].
The one who is not a widow may be:
a) A divorced before consummating
marriage with her. She has no waiting period.
God says ﴾O you who have believed, when you marry believing women and
then divorce them before you have touched them, then there is not for you any
waiting period to count concerning them. So, provide for them and give them a
gracious release﴿Chapter of the Confederates (Surat AL Ahzaab). Verse NO
49
b) A pregnant. And in this
case her waiting period ends when she gives birth. God says ﴾And for those who are
pregnant, their term is until they give birth﴿
Chapter of Divorce.
c) Not pregnant. And in
this case her waiting period is three menstrual periods. Her husband can return
to her during the waiting period.
God says ﴾And divorced women remain in waiting
for three periods, and it is not lawful for them to conceal what Allah has
created in their wombs if they believe in Allah and the Last Day. And their
husbands have more right to take them back in this [period]
if they want reconciliation. And due to the wives is similar to what is
expected of them, according to what is reasonable. But the men have a degree
over them [in responsibility and
authority]. And Allah is Exalted in
Might and Wise﴿Chapter of the Heifer. Verse NO 228
But, if she is post-menopausal woman, her waiting period will be
three Islamic months.
God says ﴾And those who no longer expect menstruation among your
women- if you doubt, then their period is three months, and [also for] those
who have not menstruated. And for those who are pregnant, their term is until
they give birth. And whoever fears Allah- He will make for him of his matter
ease﴿Chapter of Divorce. Verse NO 4
Woman’s rights during the waiting period
①If it is a revocable divorce (for the
first or the second time), she will have the right of residence, maintenance,
and clothing.
②If it is an irrevocable divorce (for the
third time), she will have the right of residence only, unless she is pregnant.
God says﴾Lodge them [in
a section] of where you dwell out of
your means and do not harm them in order to oppress them. And if they should be
pregnant, then spend on them until they give birth﴿ Chapter of Divorce.
Read also
provisions of looking at a woman
