(Marriage (Zawaj = Nikaah

MARRIAGE (Zawaj = Nikaah)

Its provision for a man: It is recommended for the one who can afford its expenses and longs for it.

But, it is disliked for the one who does not long for it.

●It was narrated from Ibn Masᶦud that the Prophet said, “O young men, whoever among you can afford to get married, let him do so, for it restrains eyes (from casting evil glances at other women), and saves private parts from committing illegal sexual relation. But he who cannot afford it should fast, as fasting is a means of controlling the sexual desire.” [AL-Bukhari and Muslim].

Its provision for a woman: It is absolutely recommended, for it is a support and protection for her.

Prohibitions for a man in marriage:

There are three causes of prohibition in marriage: relationship, fostership, and affinity.

Absolute prohibition:

It is irreversible, no matter how much things change.

①It is prohibited for a man to marry his mother, grandmother, daughter, granddaughter, his niece, and their offspring.
 Also, he is prohibited to marry his aunt, his father’s aunt, and mother’s aunt.

②It is prohibited for a man to marry the woman who has breast-fed him while he was an infant.
 Also, it is prohibited for him to marry her daughter, whether the daughter has breastfed with him or she is the another one who is older or younger than her. This is because he has become a member of this family. This prohibition is NOT applied to his brothers and sisters, and her brothers and sisters. (For example: his brother can marry her sister).

③It is prohibited for a man to marry:

□The mother of his wife.
     

□His step-daughter (the daughter of his wife or the daughter of his wife’s son) if he has consummated the marriage with the mother.

□His step mother as soon as his father concludes the contract of his marriage to her (even if his father has not consummated with her).

□His son’s wife.
                                                    
□His grandson’s wife.

A rule:

Concluding a contract of marriage to a daughter prohibits the marriage to her mother, but consummating the marriage with a mother prohibits the marriage to her daughter, i.e., it is prohibited for you to marry your mother-in-law as soon as you conclude the contract of your marriage to her daughter, even if you have divorced her daughter afterwards.

Temporary prohibition:

It is prohibited to marry:

□Two sisters simultaneously.                           
□A woman and her paternal aunt simultaneously.

□A woman and her maternal aunt simultaneously.

¨It is a temporary prohibition that ceases if the wife is dead or divorced.

God says ﴾And do not marry those [women] whom your fathers married, except what has already occurred. Indeed, it was an immorality and hateful [to Allah] and was evil as a way﴿Chapter of Women. Verse NO 22

And He says ﴾Prohibited to you [for marriage] are your mothers, your daughters, your sisters, your father’s sisters, your mother’s sisters, your brother’s daughters, your sister’s daughters, your [milk] mothers who nursed you, your sisters through nursing, your wives’ mothers, and your step-daughters under your guardianship [born] of your wives with whom you have consummated. But if you have not consummated with them, there is no sin upon you. And [also prohibited are] the wives of your sons who are from your [own] loins, and that you take [in marriage] two sisters simultaneously, except for what has already occurred. Indeed, Allah is ever Forgiving and Merciful﴿ Chapter of Women. Verse NO 23

●It was narrated from Abi-Hurairah that the Messenger of Allah said, “One cannot combine a woman and her paternal aunt, or a woman and her maternal aunt in marriage.” [­AL-Bukhari].

●Ibn ᶦAbbas reported: It was said to the Prophet (P.P.B.U.H), “Won’t you marry the daughter of Hamzah?” He said, “She is my foster niece (brother’s daughter).” [AL-Bukhari].

¨Thuwaibah, the slave girl of Abi Lahab, has breast-fed the Prophet and his paternal uncle Hamzah.

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Things to be considered in choosing a husband or a wife:

❶A girl’s family must ask carefully about the suitor, his manners, and his transactions. The one who is asked about a suitor must know that it is a trust and he will be asked about his witness before God.

●Fatimah bint Qais said: I came to the Prophet and said to him: “Muᶦawiyah and Abu-Jahm sent me a proposal of marriage.” The Messenger of Allah (P.P.B.U.H) said, “As for Abu Jahm, he does not put down his stick from his shoulder (i.e. he travels a lot, or he is very hard on women), and as for Muᶦawiyah, he is a poor man with no property. Marry Usamah ibn Zayd.” I objected to him, but he again said, “Marry Usamah.” So, I married him, and Allah put good in it. [Muslim].

❷The girl must be righteous, from a good family environment. As she cannot do without her family. If they are vicious, they will spoil her.

●The Messenger of Allah said, “Let me inform you about the best a man hoards; it is a righteous woman who pleases him when he looks at her, obeys him when he gives her a command, and guards his interests when he is away from her.” [Abu-Daoud].

●It was narrated from Abi-Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet said, “When someone, whose religion and character you are pleased with, comes to you, then marry (your daughter or female relative under your care) to him, for if you do not do that, there will be turmoil (Fitnah) in the land and widespread corruption.” [AL-Tirmidhi].

●It was narrated from Abi-Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (P.P.B.U.H) said, “A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty, and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) your hand will be besmeared with dust (you will be a loser).” [AL-Bukhari and Muslim].

❸It is prohibited for a Muslim to send a proposal of marriage to an engaged woman.

●It was narrated from Abi-Hurairah that Allah’s Apostle said, “A man should not propose to a woman to whom his brother has already proposed.” [Muslim].

❹A suitor should look at the woman that he wants to marry. Islam likes clarity, so he should look at her face and hands, and hear her voice, as she may be a dumb or a lisper.

●Abu-Hurairah reported: I was in the company of Allah’s Messenger (May peace be upon him) when there came a man and informed him that he had proposed marriage to a woman of the Supporters (AL-Ansaar). Thereupon, Allah’s Messenger said: “Have you seen her?” He said, “No.” He said: “Go and look at her.” [Muslim].

Also, she should look at her suitor.

❺It is a Sunnah to marry a virgin.

●Jaber ibn Abd Allah reported: My father died and left seven or nine girls and I married a matron. Allah’s Apostle said to me, “O Jabir! Have you married?” I said. “Yes.” He said, “A virgin or a matron (previously married)?” I replied, “A matron.” He said, “Why not a virgin, so that you might play with her and she with you, and you might amuse her and she amuse you.” I said, “Abdullah (my father) died and left girls, and I dislike marrying a girl like them, so I married a lady (matron) so that she may look after them.” On that he said, “May Allah bless you.” or “That is good.” [AL-Bukhari].

❻A Muslim should marry a Muslim woman.
 God says ﴾And do not marry polytheistic women until they believe. And a believing slave woman is better than a polytheist, even though she might please you. And do not marry polytheistic men [to your women] until they believe. And a believing slave is better than a polytheist, even though he might please you. Those invite [you] to the Fire, but Allah invites to Paradise and to forgiveness, by His permission. And He makes clear His verses to the people that perhaps they may remember﴿Chapter of the Heifer. Verse NO 221

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ENGAGEMENT

It is a promise of marriage, later, from the fiancé to the guardian of the fiancée, so that the suitor and the bride have been contented with each other and it has been agreed on everything.

Provision of engagement in Islam:

It does not make the lawful thing unlawful, or the unlawful thing lawful.
But, it is a period of introduction to marriage and an acquaintance between the two partiesin presence of an unmaritable relation (Mahram) before concluding the marriage contract. 

So, the fiancé is not allowed to see more than the face and hands of his fiancée, and not allowed to be alone with her.

Marriage pillars:

a husband, a wife, a wife’s guardian, two witnesses, and a text.

Conditions of the guardian and the two witnesses:

They must be Muslims, adult, rational, just, and male. The witnesses must know the language of the two parties of the marriage contract, and must be not be blind or deaf.

−Marriage contract is not valid if the witnesses are two women, or a man and two women. Also, a woman cannot be a guardian of another woman in marriage contract.

−A guardian and witnesses must be men as a man knows his own kind well and can deal with the suitor. There must be a particular attention paid to marriage and any dispute between the young spouses.

God says ﴾And if you fear dissension between the two, send an arbitrator from his people and an arbitrator from her people. If they both desire reconciliation, Allah will cause it between them. Indeed, Allah is ever Knowing and Acquainted [with all things]﴿ Chapter of Women. Verse NO 35

Guardians of a woman in marriage:

Her father, if not present, then her grandfather (the father of her father), then her brother, then her paternal uncle in the order.

Conditions of a husband:

□He must be a Muslim.               
□Not unmaritable relation (not Mahram).

 □Not forced to marry his wife.    

 □He must be known by name.

 □He must know if his wife a virgin or a matron.

Conditions of a wife:

□She must be known by name (her guardian must not say: “I have married you to one of my daughters”).

□Not unmaritable relation.                        

□Not married at the same time to another man.

□Not in the waiting period.                        

□Not forced to get married.

Conditions of the text:

□It must be expresses verbis, such as “I have married you to…..”

□It must be not conditioned upon a specific event. For example: Do not say, “I would marry my daughter to you if you harvested cotton.”

¨A woman can condition that her husband does not marry another woman during their marriage.

●AL-Miswar ibn Makhramah reported: I heard Allah’s Apostle who was on the pulpit saying, “Banu Hisham ibn AL-Mughirah have requested me to allow them to marry their daughter to ᶦAli ibn Abi Talib, but I do not give permission, and will not give permission unless ᶦAli ibn Abi Talib divorces my daughter in order to marry their daughter, because Fatimah is a part of my body, and what displeases her displeases me, and what hurts her hurts me.” [AL-Bukhari].

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FOSTERSHIP

If a woman breast-fed an infant, it becomes her son/or daughter on two conditions:

a) Its age is less than two years.

b) She breast-feeds it five separate times.

●It was narrated from ᶦAishah (May Allah be pleased with her) that the Prophet (P.P.B.U.H) said, “Breastfeeding is because of hunger (during infancy).” [AL-Bukhari].

−As a result of fostership, her husband will be a father of this infant, whether it is a male or a female.

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THE ISSUE OF POLYGAMY

Islam has allowed polygamy in certain situations as:

Sterility of a woman, during wars in which thousands of men die and women increase in number, also to face the weakness of will in some men.

− In the previous situations, polygamy is more honorable, for both of men and women, than taking mistresses which is approved in some societies.

*Islam did not innovate polygamy:

[1] Abraham (peace be upon him) married four women.

[2] Daoud (peace be upon him) married about one hundred of women, and his son Sulaiman had one thousand of slave-girls and free women.

[3] The Torah allowed having a countless number of women.

●It was narrated from Abi-Hurairah that the Prophet said, “Sulaiman ibn Daoud (Solomon ‘the son of David’) said, ‘Tonight I will sleep (have an intercourse) with seventy women; all of them will deliver a male child who will fight in the way of Allah.’ It was said to him: ‘Say: If Allah wills.’ But he did not say.

 He had sexual relations with them but none of them delivered any child, except one who delivered a half person. If Sulaiman had said: ‘If Allah wills’, his wives would have delivered the children who would all have grown up into horsemen and fought in the way of Allah.”

[The Two Scholars].

God says ﴾And if you fear that you will not deal justly with the orphan girls, then marry those that please you of [other] women, two or three or four. But if you fear that you will not be just, then [marry only] one or those your right hand possesses. That is more suitable that you may not incline [to injustice]﴿ Chapter of Women. Verse NO 3

●Abu-Qais ibn AL-Harith reported: I embraced Islam while I had eight wives. So, I mentioned it to the Prophet and he said: “Select four of them.” [Abu-Daoud].

● And in the narration of AL-Tirmidhi that a man from Thaqif had ten wives when he became a Muslim. Then the Prophet said to him, “Take four and separate from the rest.”

This polygamy is allowed on two conditions:

a) To be a just in the care of your wives and your children.

b) To own the necessary resources required to spend on these houses, i.e., do not let your wives and children barefooted, naked, and begging of others, especially in our modern life, in which an individual needs are several, and it is rare to find the one who has the mental and the financial skill to succeed in that.

God says ﴾And you will never be able to be equal [in feeling] between wives, even if you should strive [to do so]. So, do not incline completely [toward one] and leave [another] hanging. And if you amend [your affairs] and fear Allah- then indeed, Allah is ever Forgiving and Merciful﴿ Chapter of Women. Verse NO 129

●It was narrated from Abi-Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (P.P.B.U.H) said, “When a man has two wives and he is not just between them, he will come on the Day of Judgment with one side drooping.” [AL-Tirmidhi].

●It was narrated from Abd- Allah ibn ᶦAmr that the Messenger of Allah said, “It is a sufficient sin for a man that he neglects those whom he maintains.” [Abu-Daoud].

●And the Prophet (P.P.B.U.H) said in his talk to Saᶦd ibn Abi Waqqas, “To leave your heirs rich is better than to leave them poor begging of others.” [AL-Bukhari].

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DIVORCE

●It was narrated from Muharib that the Prophet said, “Allah did not make anything lawful more hated to Him than divorce.” [Abu-Daoud].

●It was narrated from Abd- Allah ibn ᶦUmar that the Messenger of Allah said, “Of all the lawful acts, the most hated to Allah is divorce.” [Abu-Daoud and Ibn Majah].

●It was narrated from Jabir (May Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet said, “Iblis places his throne upon water; he then sends detachments (for creating dissension); the nearer to him in rank are those who are most notorious in creating dissension. One of them comes and says, ‘I did so and so.’ And he says, ‘You have done nothing.’ Then one among them comes and says, ‘I did not spare so and so until I sowed the seeds of discord between a husband and a wife.’ Iblis goes near him and says, ‘You have done well.’” [Muslim].

Types of divorce

¨If a man divorced his wife once, he would be allowed to return to her during the waiting period. The same thing would occur in the second time. If the waiting period ended and he did not return to her, he would not be allowed to return to her except after new contract and dower. In this case, divorce would be minor irrevocable.

¨If the wife was divorced for the third time, divorce would be major irrevocable and she would not be allowed to return to her husband except after a stable marriage to another man (i.e. marriage not conditioned upon divorce).

God says ﴾Divorce is twice. Then, either keep [her] in an acceptable manner or release [her] with good treatment﴿ Chapter of the Heifer. And says ﴾And if he has divorced her [for the third time], then she is not lawful to him afterward until [after] she marries a husband other than him﴿Chapter of the Heifer.

●ᶦAishah reported: A man divorced his wife thrice, then she married another man who divorced her before having sexual intercourse with her. The Prophet was asked if she could legally marry the first husband (or not). The Prophet replied, “No, she cannot marry the first husband unless the second husband tastes her sweetness (consummates marriage with her), just as the first husband has done.” [The Two Scholars].

Note that:

If divorce occurs before consummating marriage with the wife, she gives the husband half of the prompt dower and takes only half of the deferred dower.

 As for presents, scholars have different opinions about them.

God says ﴾And if you divorce them before you have touched them and you have already specified for them an obligation, then [give] half of what you specified- unless they forego the right or the one in whose hand is the marriage contract foregoes it. And to forego it is nearer to righteousness. And do not forget graciousness between you. Indeed Allah, of whatever you do, is seeing﴿ Chapter of the Heifer. Verse NO 237

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THE WAITING PERIOD

A woman in the waiting period is either a widow or not a widow.

A widow is either:

a) A pregnant, and in this case her waiting period ends when she gives birth, even if the delivery occurs after days of her husband’s death.

●Umm Salamah reported: Subayᶦa AL-Aslamiya gave birth half a month after the death of her husband, and two men asked to marry her. She went to the Messenger of Allah and he said, “You are free to marry, so marry whomever you wish.” [AL-Bukhari].

b) Not pregnant, and in this case her waiting period is four Islamic months and ten nights (130 days).

She should commit to mourning throughout the waiting period, and refrain from adornment and applying perfume. She should stay at home and never goes out, except for a need.

●The Prophet (P.P.B.U.H) said, “A woman whose husband has died must not wear any jewellery. She must not apply Kohl (cosmetic eye powder to darken the eyelids) and Henna (camphire).” [Abu-Daoud and AL-Nasaᶦi].

God says ﴾And those who are taken in death among you and leave wives behind- they, [the wives, shall] wait four months and ten [days]. And when they have fulfilled their term, then there is no blame upon you for what they do with themselves in an acceptable manner. And Allah is [fully] Acquainted with what you do﴿ Chapter of the Heifer. Verse NO 234

●It was narrated from Umm Habibah, the wife of the Prophet, that the Prophet (P.P.B.U.H) said, “It is not permissible for a woman who believes in Allah and the Last Day to mourn for anyone who dies for more than three days, except for a husband; she should mourn for him for four months and ten (days).” [The Two Scholars].

The one who is not a widow may be:

a) A divorced before consummating marriage with her. She has no waiting period.

God says ﴾O you who have believed, when you marry believing women and then divorce them before you have touched them, then there is not for you any waiting period to count concerning them. So, provide for them and give them a gracious release﴿Chapter of the Confederates (Surat AL Ahzaab). Verse NO 49

b) A pregnant. And in this case her waiting period ends when she gives birth. God says ﴾And for those who are pregnant, their term is until they give birth﴿ Chapter of Divorce.

c) Not pregnant. And in this case her waiting period is three menstrual periods. Her husband can return to her during the waiting period.

 God says ﴾And divorced women remain in waiting for three periods, and it is not lawful for them to conceal what Allah has created in their wombs if they believe in Allah and the Last Day. And their husbands have more right to take them back in this [period] if they want reconciliation. And due to the wives is similar to what is expected of them, according to what is reasonable. But the men have a degree over them [in responsibility and authority]. And Allah is Exalted in Might and Wise﴿Chapter of the Heifer. Verse NO 228

But, if she is post-menopausal woman, her waiting period will be three Islamic months.

God says ﴾And those who no longer expect menstruation among your women- if you doubt, then their period is three months, and [also for] those who have not menstruated. And for those who are pregnant, their term is until they give birth. And whoever fears Allah- He will make for him of his matter ease﴿Chapter of Divorce. Verse NO 4

Woman’s rights during the waiting period

①If it is a revocable divorce (for the first or the second time), she will have the right of residence, maintenance, and clothing.

②If it is an irrevocable divorce (for the third time), she will have the right of residence only, unless she is pregnant.

God says﴾Lodge them [in a section] of where you dwell out of your means and do not harm them in order to oppress them. And if they should be pregnant, then spend on them until they give birth﴿ Chapter of Divorce. 

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